I ran accross the same kind of problem with the server dying when trying to use the swap. This is because mod_php does not free memory ever. So Apache processes keep growing either reaching apache or PHP's memory limit or, if there's no limit, crashing the server.
Restarting apache makes it to spawn new fresh slim processes but as they run PHP scripts over time, they grow until problems arise.
The solution is to make apache to kill processes after a certain number of queries served so it will create new ones ( There are some questions related to that) reducing the MaxRequestsPerChild configuration option to, let's say 100 (Defaults to 1000).
Of course this may reduce server performances as it takes ressources to kill and spawn new processes but at least it keeps the site working. You might be tempted to raise the number of running processes to keep performances high, be sure PHP (or apache) memory limit x max number of processes do not get over your server's physical ram.
Here's my experience, hope it helps.
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